Lesson #14: Love Is Real

Love is real. It does exist. It may not be eternal or even stick around for very long. But just because love doesn't last, does not mean that it isn't true. Just because you can’t put into words how you feel about someone doesn't mean you don’t feel those things. Love is something felt by many but only fully understood by few. It’s far greater than a simple feeling. Love is more of a complex state of being. It takes over the entire body, leaving very little to control.

Love exists in many forms. Friendships, family relations, romantic affairs. Love can be one-sided, a mutual feeling or felt from afar. Love can be hidden or concealed, shouted from the roof-tops or just somehow known.

Love can tell time. It knows just when it is needed and selects that exact moment to reveal itself. Love is what pulls us through hard-times, what makes happy moments memorable, what makes life do-able. Love of any kind is what lifts the spirit.

“You’re not supposed to see me like this,” I say.

“I want to be here,” he says. “Plus it's in my job description.”

He took my hand, wiped my eyes and smiled at me.

“I love you,” I say.

“I love you too, Jen,” he says.

Two weeks we had been together and there he stood at my hospital bedside. There he was to pull me through the hardest thing I've ever been faced with in life. The pain faded, all I could feel was his hand in mine. In that moment I knew things were going to be okay.

Through surgeries, therapy, doctor’s appointments, the pain, sleepless nights, tears and confusion, he held my hand, fed me words of inspiration and gave me his love. When sleep wouldn't come, he would spend hours on the phone with me. When the tears did come, he would hold me close. When smiles seemed unattainable, he somehow managed to bring one out.

Allowing me to love him in return though was the greatest thing he gave to me. The ability to exchange stories, share laughs and smiles, do silly things, and stay up late with someone, is something to be valued. Focusing my energy on someone else, made the pain and struggle that I, myself was enduring, bearable. Each day was increasingly better because someone was there to give me the encouragement I needed at that time. The random phone calls, the voice mails left when I wouldn't answer, the flowers bought for no reason at all, the weekend trips and the three words we’d share, made the hurt fade.

“So just end things? That’s our solution?” I say.

“No. I don’t know. I just worry that we give this a shot and it doesn't work out, I lose you in my life forever. I love you, Jen. I’m just following what I think my heart says,” he says.

Feelings can change, love can fade and hearts can be broken. But a broken heart is only temporary. Someone or something new will eventually come along and when your heart is ready, you will know. Until this time, your lost love can be covered by friends. That is what friends are for. They’re there to fill the cracks and crevices in your heart. True friends are there to give love unconditionally and provide support through the ups and downs we are faced with in life. They’re there to support us through love both gained and lost. Friends are there to give love.

He walks up to me, pulls me in and hugs me close, lingering in the embrace. We distance from one another and his gaze meets mine.

“Goodbye,” he says.

Goodbye. That was the last word I would hear him say which in that moment, I didn't know. As he left the room, I turned to my friend, tears in my eyes, words bursting at my lips.

“Goodbye? That may be the last time I ever see him and he chooses ‘goodbye’ to say to me,” I say.

Friends, they’re always there when you need them. She pulled me in and wiped my tears. She said the words to me that I needed to hear, the words to calm me in that moment. They say that all you need is love. The truth is all you need is friends. The love will follow after.

Love is real. It is not just a topic of poems or movies. Romantic love does exist. Whether it is short-term or long-term, the length is not what determines whether it is true. It is the feeling that occurs within, the feeling that at times cannot be put into words. Romantic love may not last, but the memories do. Love is real.